. For years there has been something intuitively clicking for me when I considered gnosticism of various schools. I've always had faith that there must be some hope, some purpose that makes living in this absurd world of suffering meaningful. To be honest, recently I came to a breakdown and almost lost sll that hope, which lead to real panic attacks (had to take tranquilizers). Now I'm calmer but it really showed me how important these issues are to me. Spirituality and our eternal destiny are not a curiosity or a hobby for me - they are the very core of my existence. In moments when I lose faith in them I have no motivation to get out of bed and start considering suicide. That's how it is with me
. So hello to all and any advice or encouragement welcome.