Sophian.org

[Brooke]

Greetings, friends.

Part of Verse 9 reads, "And others fell on the thorns, they choked the seeds, and worms ate them."

While reading Tau Malachi's meditation from Verse 9 of St. Thomas I kept wondering which one was me. I wondered if I would become the soul that falls on thorns, chokes, and gets eaten by the worms.

First, let me say others around me have noticed a change in me -- which is good. Perhaps more importantly, I've noticed a real, positive change within myself. I've been putting real energy into positive thoughts about myself and others and I've been steadfast in my morning devotions and meditations. For now I've kept my morning meditations to the Silent Witness and primordial breathing. I've done so because I'm only just beginning to understand the Tree of Life and how the Sefirot manifest in the Olam. These are new words and concepts for this girl who grew up Southern Baptist, and I don't want to use (or invoke) divine names until I fully understand and feel that I know them in my heart. But I'm wondering if I should go on now to another meditation, beyond SW and PB. Tau Malachi recommended the Middle Pillar for novice Sophians.

The reason I wonder if I might fall among the thorns is because when I go out into the world, although I strive to remember my True Soul I feel frustrated by surroundings that are not spiritual; co-workers think nothing of using foul language or making rude or hurtful comments about other people. I think Sophians discourage retreating into a monastic-type life but how can I keep my heart and soul above the eschatological in my daily living? how do you keep that from dragging you under? On Mondays, after a weekend of real spiritual focus, I carry the Holy Spirit with me all day -- by that, I mean I am aware of her and think about her constantly. As the week goes along I find myself thinking about her less often so that by Friday I'm feeling farther away from the Light.

I hesitate to use this forum to dwell on myself, but I am a novice and I thought other novices might be having the same experiences and could draw real encouragement or advice from others who have been here where we are now.

Light, Love, and Blessings to all who journey here...
Brooke

[Leslie Kaneel]

Greetings Brooke,

All I can say here Brooke, and it may or may not be of any help, is that the Parable of the Sower has been instrumental in helping my person deal with the mundane world many times over quite a few years.
At times when, like you say, the Light seems far away, I would almost fiercely remember Master Yeshua warning to not be trampled on, eaten, scorched and so on. It is a "battle" of sorts and, with the right balance of Severity and Mercy on the Tree of Life, a person must put some "teeth" in their Faith to bring it to fruition. Stubborn refusal to be mowed over by darkness! And, much determination to Become the seeds in the Parable that "produce a crop 100, 60, or 30 times what was sown."
If you continue to contemplate this Parable, then perhaps carry it with you in your mind and heart throughout the workweek to remind that the Light is always close even in the midst of the clatterings of secular society.

Blessings,
Leslie.

[Elder Gideon+]

Shalom Brooke!

Thank you for sharing so honestly from your experience. Being in the world and not of the world is clearly wisdom which cannot be scripted out for us but must be found through sometimes painful trial and error; the purpose such trial and error serves is the cultivation of our intimacy with the Indwelling Christ. While we may feel far away, days after a community gathering, the Indwelling Christ has moved no where. It is we who move.

How and where we move has everything to do with this parable. This simple analogy is simply exhaustless. In the most practical, applicable terms, consider the soil. The condition of the soil determines the fate of the seeds, does it not? The soil is either hard, rocky, admixed with other competing weeds or soft and fertile. Rather than dwell upon the ravens and the rocks and the weeds, consider the soil, which is your heart and mind and life.

How is this soil guarded? Daily spiritual practice is critical to keeping our life's soil soft. Gathering in community is as deep a human need, keeping our community's soil soft. In between the days of gathering, I cannot recommend spiritual study enough. Reading daily, however briefly, is fantastic. Kabbalistic rabbis--mekubalim--virtually equate study with prayer! Wow! This is verified in my experience as so much of our life seems to flow from our thoughts and mentations; if we're going to think and ponder, why not fill them with contemplations of scripture? If you're already doing this, please pardon its obviousness; if you're finding your 'batteries' are low by Friday, I'd recommend studying more. It's about the most nurturing thing we can do for our soil.

30, 60 and 100 fold, may our heart yield seed-bearing fruit!

Brother Michael+

[Elder Gideon+]

Greetings Again, Brooke!

As I reflected on my last post yesterday, it occurs to me that your central question was still unaddressed, namely, how to build a continuum of prayer that sustains and guards you throughout the whole week.

Your call to the Middle Pillar is excellent. This simple practice offers a wealth of opportunities and we all use it for a variety of purposes. What it will do for you in this time in your spiritual development is strengthen your subtle body and seal the positive energy of your daily prayer and meditations.

We all need means of accelerating the vibratory frequency of our subtle body; this is the purpose of spiritual practice. What we call 'feeling centered' is a higher vibration, which we facilitate by regular, daily practice. We begin to walk and respond to life happening with greater centeredness and clarity. Also, we feel less droopy some days after gathering with community. All of this is tried and true in the Middle Pillar. Give it some time and consistency and you're guaranteed to feel some differences.

Brother Michael+

[Brooke]

Greetings, Br. Michael+ !

Yes, I tried the Middle Pillar for the first time this morning -- and therein I found a beautiful peace. And since I study and read more texts (e.g., I'm re-reading sections of the "Gnostic Christ" for the third time now) during the weekend, I do feel more centered than I was feeling late in the week. To keep the momentum going I plan to practice the Middle Pillar all this coming week.

I took to heart your words about Kabbalistic rabbis equating study with prayer. While I know this is a spiritual journey, the various texts (including the OT, the NT and some of the Nag Hammadi as well as reflections on them by adepts like Tau Malachi) seem to lift up me spiritually, centering me, making me want to pray and mediate even more; and, successful meditation makes me want to read even more.

In our mentoring class last week Br. Phillip mentioned the importance of concentration and Kavvanah which is something I plan to look into some more on Sunday.

Love, Light and Blessings to all who read and post here!

[Leslie Kaneel]

Shalom to All!

More contemplation on the problem of being eaten, scorched, choked, and so on......

There is a phenomenon of the mind at the psychological level (daily, common, operational level) whereby the mind forms habits of convenience to accomodate personal will. Those on a rigid time schedule, where this and that are alloted to certain times of the day, and week, are more susceptible to this situation.

For example: In the morning I am the holy praying/meditating person; then sliding over to I am the cleaning, organizing, and food prep. person; now the driver/rider travelling to work person; then, and this one crunches great hosts of individuals, I am the career woman/man - I am the office staff, teacher, priest, lawyer, farmer, scientist, and on and on...... the trend continues into evenings and weekends. This also gets more subtle where the thoughts may be: I am the care-giver; I am a very nice person; or, I am a good helper - along these lines.
Over the years, this habitual mode of approaching Life becomes very entrenched in the psyche, even when trying to explore new territory, and, like all habits can be extremely hard to break!

I believe, the main purpose of Silent Witness Practice is to observe oneself throughout the day and notice, with Understanding, when the self gets caught in identifications and subsequent behaviours that are not of the Light presence and Light power (Christos). Then gently move oneself back into the Light at any place and at any time.
To have a basic understanding of Contemplative/Transpersonal Psychology is very useful, especially for those starting out on their Journey, for most of each day is spent living out of the psychological level(s) of the mind. A fairly good book on the Sophian recommended reading list (extended studies), that attempts to create a bridge between psychology and mysticism, is "Living Presence: A Sufi Way to Mindfulness and the Essential Self" by Kabir Edmund Helminski.

Eventually, Oneself Becomes identified as "I AM" ----With no further identifications attached.

With "I AM" Consciousness, the self can move through the day in a more detached, spontaneous, and flowing Way. More the Way Life and Light actually moves. Each day is like a tapestry of the self being woven into the Pattern of the Greater Self - all through the promptings of the Holy Spirit. The self transforms into the Self.
This is where the seed can bear fruit many,many more times than that which was originally sown!

May we all, through Divine Grace, have our faith brought to fruition in Gnosis! Amen.

This may be a repeat prayer but a very apt and Good one.

Shabbat Shalom!

Leslie.